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et al.: who will defend me? victim of right “wing” conspiracy!
By WDavidStephenson | October 5, 2007
It turns out I’m a member of America’s newest oppressed minority. I refer, of course, to the ambidextrous…
I was really looking forward to participating in a Mass General study on the “neurobiology of wisdom,” which involved a really loooong psychological survey (yes, I do think people are stealing my good ideas, and I do hear voices, which sound suspiciously like Angelina Jolie), and I was depressed for a several weeks in the past month [when the Sox lost their 7 1/2 game lead] to be followed by a tres-cool real-time MRI where they’d observe my reaction to a range of images (including some that they warned me might be upsetting: Johnny Damon in a Yankees uniform? Britney Spears at the MTV Awards? George Bush in front of a “Mission Accomplished” banner?).
Sooo, I get most of the way through the psych. profile. Then they they get to some questions about what activities I do with which hand: I tell them I write and draw with my left, do everything else right-handed, except for brushing my teeth, where (no lie!) I toss the brush from one hand to the other at warp speed, like the shuttle on a loom (my wife can’t get over it…).
The testers somberly look at each other, say they have to check something, leave the room, and come back saying I’ve washed out because I’m ambidextrous (same thing goes if you’re a leftist, I mean left handed).
Is handedness an independent variable for which they must control, or could it be a vast right “wing” conspiracy???/
Boy, I bet if Clarence Thomas was still at the EEOC, this is the kind of discrimination he’d really get into. Meanwhile, I guess I’m on my own, unless I can get Floyd Abrams or Ramsey Clark to take me on.
I’m ambivalent about what to do…
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